Second Life, Book 1: A Year In Time
by doomedpassion
Summary: James S. Potter, soon to be 6th year Gryffindor and Quidditch Captain, takes a blast into the past when he is hit in the head by an UFO. In the year 1974, he meets his grandparents and the Marauders, and of course he falls in love with Sirius Black. slash
1. Prologue

Prologue – Platform 9¾

James Sirius Potter and his younger brother and sister stepped onto Platform 9¾. Their parents were not far behind. He and his siblings, Albus Severus Potter and Lily Luna Potter were deep in conversation about the new school year. James was heading off for Sixth year and he couldn't wait to lead the Gryffindor Quidditch team to victory as Captain. His brother was to be in Fifth year, while his sister would be in Third. All three of them were Gryffindors.

"James! Albus! Lily! Watch out!" shouted his mother. His father was too busy in conversation with one of his colleagues to notice, as a projectile hurtled towards the three Potter children. It was hurtling towards James, who knew that if he ducked and his siblings didn't, they would be hit, so as he pushed them out of the way, it hit him instead on the back of the head, just as he moved to duck.

James Sirius Potter blacked out.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 – First Meeting, Platform 9¾ 1974

When he came to, he was lying on the ground at Platform 9¾. He looked up, disoriented and confused. It looked the same, but the people walking around were dressed differently. And he didn't know any of them.

"Never seen you around here before," said someone behind him conversationally. "Need some help?"

"Uh…I'm okay…" said James S. Potter. He pushed himself up off the cement tiled ground.

James S. Potter recognized the man, no, boy as Remus Lupin.

"Oh my, you look like James. James!" cried the boy.

"Hey Remi," said James. "Who's this?"

"No idea, but he looks like you, except he's got red hair and blue-green eyes. Oh and he's not wearing glasses."

James S. Potter's eyes grew in size so that they were now impossibly wide. Did he just get thrown back in time?

"Hey, my name is James. James Potter." James Potter held out his hand. "And that's Remus Lupin.

"Jay…Jay Prewett," said James S. Potter. "By the way, what year is it?"

"1974, why?" said Remus.

"Fuck!" shouted Jay. "I went back in time 48 years."

"What's going on?" asked a voice. And James II could swear he had died and gone to heaven. That voice was like honey in milk. Hey, he only drank milk when his mother mixed honey in it. He whipped around and he had to stop himself from drooling. The boy he was now looking at was so beautiful, like Ganymede, you know Zeus's boyfriend, represented by astrological sign, Aquarius? He coughed. He nearly choked on his spit when he tried not to drool.

"Hey Sirius, meet our new friend Jay," said James.

And then it hit him like a truck. James S. Potter was attracted to a man who in his time was not only dead, but his father's godfather to boot. He wanted to declare .com/ as his new best friend. Believe it or not, FML was created by a half blood wizard, who happened to have a computer programmer, father and a witch mother. Only it wasn't invented yet…otherwise he was sure, Severus Snape would have already discovered it.

"Hi," said James II alias Jay Prewett, a little breathlessly. He was glad to have regained control over his tongue and lips. Self consciously, he smoothed out his shirt and ran a hand through his messy hair crimson hair. "I'm Jay Prewett." He stuck out his hand. He licked his lips nervously, as the raven haired beauty looked him over and scoffed at his hand.

"Sorry, but I don't shake with strangers. Tell me exactly who you are and where you come from," said Sirius pulling out his wand.

"Easy there," said James II. "You're right, my name's not really Prewett, but the thing is I can't give you my real name. I'm from the future, the year 2022. I _was_ going to be in sixth year at Hogwarts. I was selected to become Gryffindor Quidditch Captain by the Head of the House. I was looking forward to that until I realized I ended up 48 years before my time and I can't possibly become Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, now can I?" I've said too much, but its vague enough I suppose, but they'll peg me as James's descendant.

"You know you could look James," said Remus. "You could only be his descendant."

"Well, shit," said Jay. "Yeah…and my name's James Potter the 2nd."

"I can see that," said James. "Mini me." James smirked. "This year is going to be awesome!"

"Uh…yeah…about that…"

"Just come to Hogwarts with us, and Professor Dumbledore'll let you stay, yeah?" said James, putting an arm around James II's shoulder and steering him towards the train.

"Now let's see, you haven't met Peter yet."

"Peter?" asked James II. It really wasn't a good idea to let them meet because he'd feel murderous the moment he was faced with the traitor's ugly mug. He seen him in pictures and he was one hell of a cowardly fat ass. His face twisted. The guy was responsible for the pain his father went through. He scowled.

"What's wrong, Jay Jay?" said James.

"It's nothing," said Jay. "And don't you dare call me that." He pulled out his wand and pointed it at his grandfather.

"Hey, hey. Didn't your dad teach you to respect your elders?"

"Yeah, but you don't look it," said Jay smirking. "You're about the same age as me."

"Damn," said James.

Then they all headed off together. James II tried not to glare too much at Peter, instead he observed him a bit more. He then realized that his father was right in pitying him. The man was a coward and a follower. How the hell did he even get into Gryffindor? Then he remembered what his father had told him about the Last Battle at Hogwarts and shook his head smiling. So the guy did have a spine after all. He had spent too much time hiding in James's shadow and allowing the jealousy in his heart to fester. Maybe he could give the guy a bit of a push towards the light. It wouldn't be much, but…damn it might change the future or it might help his father survive the last battle.

"Hey Peter," said Jay softly. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah," said Peter.

"If someone saves your life, while risking everything, would you do the same for them?" asked James.

"Of course, why do you ask?" asked Peter glancing at Jay suspiciously.

"I just wanted to confirm something," said Jay.

"Oh, okay," said Peter. "Why do you know something about my future?"

"I know everything," said Jay solemnly, "but I can't say because it will change everything. It's dangerous to reshape the world."

"I understand," said Peter, "will I die?"

"Everyone dies, one way or another," said James. "I can't say."

"Oh okay," said Peter. He shivered, not liking the implications.

They lapsed into silence for the rest of the ride. Jay eventually dozed off. The Marauders continued to converse. When the train stopped, the Marauders left their trunks in the racks. Following them, Jay wondered what he was going to do when they got to the school. As they walked towards the Thestral drawn carriages, Jay knew they were drawn by the spectral horses because of the stories his parents had told him, he could feel the stares of the 1974 students staring at him. He wanted to melt into the ground and never be seen again. Those stares were a mixture of curiosity, awe, terror and mistrust, after all, Voldemort's reign had just begun.

The four Marauders and James II climbed into one of the carriages. In the carriage, Jay sat on the left, Sirius on the right and James between them. Remus and Peter were discussing spells: charms and curses that they had learned the year before.

Jay was staring out the window, or trying to, but all he did was focus on the Sirius's reflection. The younger boy was so beautiful. From what he knew about Sirius was born in August and he himself was born in February, he knew Sirius was younger. He had overheard the Marauders talking about Sirius's sixteenth birthday over the summer. And it was strange – at this moment in time Sirius Black, one of the legendary Marauders was younger than him, a boy from the future. Blue eyes stared back at him. Jay turned and stared at Sirius instead of just staring at his reflection.

"Yes?" asked Jay.

"You were staring at my reflection," said Sirius scowling.

"Sorry, I was thinking that it's strange that you're younger than me at this given moment," said Jay smiling.

"You're strange," said Sirius.

"Of course I'm strange, I'm James Potter's grandson," said Jay smirking at his grandfather.

"Hey! I'm offended," said James putting a hand over his breast, an expression of utmost hurt pasted over his features.

Sirius made a noncommittal noise and waved his hand dismissively. The two of them were very so alike that it was scary. He stared out the window, not that there was anything to see.

Jay stared ahead determinedly, despite knowing if he did, he had the urge to either strangle Wormtail or warn him about the grievous mistake he would commit in 16 years 10 months 7 days. Jay tried not to count the days. Instead he decided to stare at the ceiling, so that he wouldn't have to look at Wormtail.

When they alighted from the carriage, Jay followed after them. He was however stopped by a much younger, Hagrid, who he asked to take him to see the Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore and Professor Delaware, who he knew to be the current Transfiguration professor and Head of Gryffindor.

"You should go ahead. I have a feeling that I'm gonna be grilled about how I managed to get here," said Jay. He raked his fingers through his messy mop of carmine coloured hair.

Jay followed Hagrid onto his boat and then waited for the children to be handed over to Professors Dumbledore and Delaware, who were at the time Headmaster and Deputy Headmaster respectively. Then he was told to wait while Hagrid led the children to Dumbledore to be Sorted. For the duration he was told to eat in the kitchens and to wait till the end of the feast so that he could meet with Professors Dumbledore and Delaware.

Impatiently he ate – no, he did not eat to his heart's content as he would if he were back in his own time. No, he missed his friends and family, and wondered how he would be able to get back. He also hoped that he would not let loose any information about the future that would change the course of time. Also he felt he needed to communicate his health and wellbeing to his family and friends. For that he needed the Muggle post and a time stamp. He also didn't know what to tell the Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress.

He was saved from his musings when the feast ended and Hagrid came to fetch him. He led Jay to the Headmaster's office. The doors opened, expecting them. When they reached the top of the tower, Hagrid knocked on the door and Professor Dumbledore called for them to come in. In the center of the office was a desk, behind it was a chair. To the left of the chair was a staircase that wound around the room. Also there was a door on the top landing of the staircase that led to the Headmaster's private rooms. On the walls behind the desk were bookshelves – the headmaster's library. Also were shelves full of magical instruments not unlike the ones that Harry James Potter had described for his children in his stories. The walls facing and adjacent to the desk were covered in portraits of former Headmasters.

Also facing the desk were three plush looking chairs. One of them was occupied by a brown haired woman with brown eyes. She stood up as Hagrid entered.

"Sit down, boy, Hagrid," said a younger Albus Dumbledore. His beard was short and was his hair, which were auburn coloured. His robes were vermillion in colour.

James Sirius Potter sat down. He waited for Hagrid to sit, but then the Keeper of the Keys and Grounds stayed standing, saying that he had to go back and feed Fang. He left the James with the two professors.

"Young mister Prewett – that is the name you go by, yes?" said Professor Dumbledore. "Please enlighten us about the mysterious circumstances by which you have arrived. How did you come to arrive at Hogwarts, when you are not a student here?"

"Headmaster Dumbledore," said Jay, swallowing, "forgive me, but I am a student at Hogwarts, at least in my own time, the year 2022, in sixth year. I have a copy of the Daily Prophet from September 1st 2022, if you feel that you need confirmation." He pulled the shrunken newspaper out of his pocket and handed it to the Headmaster. "My real name is James Sirius Potter." He smirked when both professors looked at him askance. "I solemn swear…" _that I am up to no good,_ "that I tell the truth, and that I have not participated in anything that would make my namesakes…disappointed."

Both professors stared at him. Then Dumbledore asked, "Were you, perhaps, Sorted into Gryffindor?"

"Of course," said Jay smirking. His eyes danced with mirth and mischief.

The professors looked at each other. Albus Dumbledore sighed and shook his head, while Pratima Delaware's eyes twinkled slightly. It was obvious that she was fond of James and Sirius, despite their antics; after all, they were best in her class. And Dumbledore was fond of them as well.

"Very well," said Professor Dumbledore. "You may join the Hogwarts this year."

"Sorry, sir, but I studied Advanced Transfiguration, Advanced Defence Against the Dark Arts and Advanced Charms, while I was in fifth year," said Jay.

"Well, we'll have to see, how you are at each subject then," said Professor Dumbledore. "Professor Delaware will test you in a week."

After the meeting, Professor Delaware escorted Jay to the Gryffindor Common Room. When the portrait of the Fat Lady swung aside to leave the entrance open, they were greeted by The Marauders. The sixth year Gryffindor boys were sitting around the fire. Sirius and Remus were playing chess – Remus was losing. Peter was staring at them open mouthed, trying to follow along, while James was staring into space – probably dreaming about Lily.

Sirius and Remus looked up. Peter swivelled around a look of slight fear and apprehension was etched over his chubby pink face. James was still staring into space, until Sirius picked up a protesting chess piece from the 'graveyard' and threw it at James. It hit him in the head – both parties – the chess piece and James cried out in pain.

"Oh hi, welcome to the Gryffindor Common room of 1974," said James, gesturing around the room with a flourish.

"It's not that different from my own time," commented Jay. "Not that I expected it to be."

"Oh," said James, deflating slightly. "So are they letting you stay?"

"Yes," said Jay.

Professor Delaware coughed lightly bringing the boys' attention to him. "Well, now that you have settled in, Mr. Prewett, I will be leaving. Remus please show Mr. Prewett to his bed."

"Of course, professor," said Remus smiling. "Sorry Siri, Prefect's duties."

"Its fine I was losing anyway," grumbled Sirius. His lips pressed together to form a pout.

Jay stared for a while, blinking. He really shouldn't be attracted to this beautiful boy, but he couldn't help himself. Raven hair falling like waves to the boy's shoulders, bangs slightly falling into his eyes, soft chocolate brown eyes – like a puppy, cream coloured skin, and soft petal pink lips.

"You're staring," said Sirius, glaring at him.

"Ah, sorry," said Jay scratching the back of his head. "I was just spacing out – I'm a little tired I guess. It's been a trying day."

"Well, I suppose I better lead you to your bed then," said Remus cheerfully. His eyes however betrayed the look of curiosity and promise of questions for Jay. In that moment, he was reminded of Rose, Hugo and Teddy – not much of surprise there – Teddy was his son. He felt a pang of homesickness. Remus was as inquisitive as his cousins, perhaps even a little less so, and well Teddy must have inherited that quality from him.

"Of course," said Jay. He knew what would come. He walked over to Remus. "Let's go."

Following behind the Gryffindor Prefect, he followed the other boy up the stairs to their dorm room.

"Here's your bed." Remus led him over to a bed close to the door. "Across from yours, that's my bed. Apparently I'm supposed to guard the door from the other three, and now four because you've joined us. I'm not going to underestimate that you won't fall right into James and Sirius's pranks. Beside mine, that's Peter's, James's and then Sirius's is beside yours."

"I see," said Jay frowning slightly. He didn't like that Peter's bed was next to his grandfather's since the fat boy would eventually cause his death.

"Is something wrong?" asked Remus.

"No, it's nothing," said Jay harshly. Then he saw the expression of hurt on the werewolf's face. "I'm sorry," Jay amended. "I was just thinking about my past you know, the future, in your case."

"Oh..." said Remus. "Do you really miss them – your friends and family?"

"Yes," said Jay, "I do. I'm the oldest – I've got a younger brother and sister."

"I'm an only child," said Remus, "but you already know about me right?"

"Yeah, your son…he's one of my best buds," said Jay. "He's older than me by a couple years."

"I'm not going to ask too much," said Remus, "but why were you staring at Sirius like that?"

"Like what?" asked Jay. His heart sank, he understood what Remus meant. He was completely aware of the way he was staring at Sirius.

"Like James when he stares at Lily," squeaked Remus, turning pink behind the ears.

"Uh...I did not," said Jay.

Remus stared at him disbelievingly.

Jay flushed bright red. "It's so wrong…really wrong…I mean…we're supposed to be years apart but…he's so…beautiful."

The door creaked open a sliver. James, Sirius and Peter's surprised faces were peeking from behind the door. The blood drained from Jay's face. It was evident from their expressions that they heard Jay's confession.

"You're a fag?" said Sirius. His expression turned from incredulous to horror.

"I'm sorry," said Jay, as he pushed passed them. He stormed down the stairs through the Common Room and out the exit. The portrait slammed shut with a snap and the Fat Lady's curses and protests fell on deaf ears. Jay stormed to the Astronomy tower. He hadn't meant for Sirius to find out about him and how he felt – not ever or at least, not this way.

Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor Common Room, James was pacing angrily. Jay was his descendant and had his namesake. He felt the need to protect and accept him. Besides he had nothing against homosexuals – his parents were accepting – they found nothing wrong with it. He had forgotten that Sirius had been raised a Black, even though he hated his family and their values. Remus was accepting of others if only due to his own problems. And Peter went along with everything – trying to fit in – but it seemed as if he agreed with Sirius on the comment.

"Sirius!" snarled James. "How could you say something like that?"

"Look, James, you know I didn't mean it," said Sirius.

"You're as horrible as your family. They raised you _really_ well," said James coldly.

"James, you fucking bastard! I told you I didn't mean it," snapped Sirius.

"What's going on down here?" A female with red hair and bright green eyes poked her head around the door.

"It's nothing Lily. Don't worry about it," said James. He glared at Sirius.

"I heard shouting. You guys should be in bed," said Lily. "Remus, do something."

"Lily, there's nothing I can do. It'll blow over. Besides the two of them are in an argument that I have to side with James on this one," said Remus.

"What's going on?" repeated Lily.

"You know that redheaded boy, Jay Prewett?" asked Remus. Lily nodded. "Apparently he's homosexual and Sirius called him a fag – so now, James is…well…defending him."

"Why would James defend that boy?" asked Lily suspiciously. She clearly thought James as pigheaded, prejudiced and immature.

"Well they look alike and James…and well he's always…or at least mostly looks after the underdogs…as long as they're not Slytherin," said Remus wincing when Lily's gaze hardened, as he subtly mentioned Snape.

"You're hiding something," said Lily accusingly.

"It's not for me to tell," said Remus. "It _is_ Jay's secret. And he ran out of the tower."

"You know Filch," said Lily. "At least he's not as bad as Pringle…" Lily shuddered. "Professor Dumbledore's banned corporal punishment. But he'll get detention if he's caught."

"Look Sirius," said Remus, "just apologize to James. James, apologize to Sirius. What you said was cruel and an unaccounted for. We need to go look for Jay and then you need to apologize to him too. If Filch gets him, he's going to serve detention and it wouldn't be fair to get detention on the first day."

"Fine, I'm sorry," said Sirius. He glared at the floor sullenly.

"I'm sorry, too," said James. His features were twisted into genuine concern. "I know you hate _them_. I shouldn't have said that even though I was really angry. Come on, Remi. We'll go get him and then we'll see what happens, okay?"

Meanwhile in the Astronomy Tower, James was sitting on the window sill. One wrong move and he'd pitch right out the window. Even though he was upset, he wasn't up for suicide – it was for cowards after all and he really had to get home.

He sat there staring out into space. He put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a ring. It was a gold ring set with the Black Family crest. He wondered how it had gotten into his possession, then it came to him. It was object that he'd been hit with.

He barely had time to think about it, when he heard footsteps. He hastily slipped it back into his pocket right before two bodies appeared from beneath the Invisibility Cloak. He was breathing hard. They couldn't have seen it, could they?

"What was that?" asked James. There was a frown on his face. There had been a flash of gold, but James was pretty sure he could have been hallucinating.

"I don't have anything," said Jay.

"Remi? Did you see anything?" asked James, knowing the werewolf's senses were better than his own.

"Yes, but it was a gold ring," said Remus. "You have a lover in your time right?" Remus's eyes were piercing as he stared at Jay.

"No," said Jay. "The gold ring hit me on the back of my head and brought me here."

"Can we see?" asked James.

"It's better if you don't," said Jay. He didn't understand – the ring had the Black Family crest and the initials S.B. carved into it. Why did the ring bring him to 1974?

Lost in his thoughts, Jay allowed James and Remus to tow him back to the Gryffindor Common Room under the Invisibility Cloak. Every time they turned a corner, they checked to see if Filch or Mrs. Norris were around.

When the portrait swung open, they pulled off the cloak. Jay was surprised to see Sirius standing there.

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have called you a…you know." The raven haired boy was staring at the floor. He was clearly embarrassed by the flush on his face. Apparently he never had much need to apologize.

"Hey, it's okay," said Jay softly. "I'm not holding it against you. I'm just used to being open about my sexuality – that's all. You don't need to worry about anything."

"If that is all, I'm going to bed," said Sirius. He walked towards the boy's dorm room. The slight sway of his hips was hypnotic to Jay, who was staring open mouthed at the younger boy.

"Jay," said Remus nudging him. "You're staring at him again."

"Oh," said Jay, shaking his head. He needed to get the image of Sirius's pert ass out of his head before he made a fool of himself and did something he would regret. "I'm going to head for a shower. Good thing, I keep some of my stuff shrunken. Well gentlemen, see you tomorrow. Have a goodnight," said Jay smiling.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – September 11th

Beams of sunlight rained down on the occupants of the dorm room. Groaning, Jay cracked his eyes open and lifted his head from his covers. He sat up – hair tousled and sticking up in all directions. He pulled the curtains open. He ended up face to face with Sirius. The boy was already dressed. His tie was hanging loosely, and his shirt was unbuttoned, exposing a softly tanned column of flesh. Jay licked his suddenly dry lips.

"Shit," hissed Jay, closing his eyes.

"Oi! I know you're awake, Jay," said Sirius.

"Urgh," said Jay. "I don't want to be awake, now leave me the hell alone."

Jay pulled the covers over his head. He really hated waking up early and despite having been in school for a week, summer time laziness was still in his system. Besides, it would be best to hide the urge to kiss the younger boy, even though they had both forgiven each other for their conduct the night before.

He didn't know how long he stayed there under the covers, but it must have been a few minutes because he heard footsteps leaving his bedside. Sirius had left and silence. Sometime after there was another set of footsteps, this time moving towards is bed.

"I suggest you get up before Sirius and James decide to prank you," said Remus.

"Oh god. Not again," groaned Jay. He cracked open an eye and saw that it was only Remus. Then he lowered his voice and whispered, "I _really_ hate it when Sirius keeps his collar unbuttoned."

Remus looks amused and then said, "Siri likes the attention. He's an attention whore. He'd go for it even if it's from a guy, despite the fact that he is slightly prejudiced against homosexuals being raised the way he was."

"Slightly prejudiced?" scoffed Jay, "Tch, yeah right. But he _is_ an attention whore. Even goes for guys, isn't he a bit of a hypocrite? Well, since I'm going to be here for a while, I might as well make him want _only_ my attention, just to teach him a lesson or two." Jay smirked, his eyes danced wickedly, as he licked his lips.

"You know," said Remus, almost nonchalantly, "you're going to leave eventually, and you're going to end up hurting him, in the event that you do _manage_ to seduce him and have him fall in love with you. And if that happens, I'm going to kill you before you can leave." Remus's eyes flashed gold. "Sirius, James and Peter are a part of my pack. I won't let you hurt them."

"Uh…never mind, change of plans," said Jay backing away from the werewolf.

They headed downstairs towards the Great Hall together. Sirius and James walked ahead of them, Peter in between, with Remus and Jay bringing up the rear. The conflict between Remus and Jay was forgotten for now.

Jay knew how hopeless he was. It hurt to just look at Sirius. The boy was so beautiful. He wanted, no, needed him so much. Jay had his own share of conquests back in 2022, but never had he needed anyone as much. He growled. He really wanted to throw those bitches and bastards hanging around the boy off the Astronomy Tower. Remus was right, Sirius didn't mind, soaking in attention wherever he could. He growled. His aquamarine eyes flashed green with envy.

Remus shivered. Even when he was feral during the full moon, he was sure that he didn't exude as much malice as Jay, who seemed to become a rabid monster just by catching a glance of Sirius's admirers. Remus observed Jay, knowing that Jay could be dangerous, since he claimed that he had taken advanced courses, and was thus a year ahead of them. On the exterior, Jay seemed nonchalant when Sirius sauntered over to their table. However, he was steaming and stewing. The tension in his body was so high that there was an almost imperceptible shake in his hand when he put food in his mouth. When he pierced his food with a fork, it was in a stabbing motion. His visual features remained impassive. He didn't look at Sirius, as he slid in on his grandfather's other side.

Sirius frowned, had Jay finally lost interest in him? Somehow that thought was less comforting than he would have thought a day ago. He pouted slightly. What had brought on the change in Jay's behaviour? He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't know that the others had already left the table. It was Remus who broke him out of his reverie.

"Hey, Siri what's wrong?" Remus's concerned voice floated towards him from behind.

Sirius flinched slightly. Remus had always been able to sense the emotion he hid behind his charisma and childish goofiness. But today, he hadn't even bothered to hide. He had thought that Remus would have stopped calling out his so-called emotional lapses.

"Nothing," said Sirius smiling at Remus.

"You're lying," said Remus pointedly. "We can talk in private later, if you'd like."

"No thanks," said Sirius smirking, "I don't need to be psychoanalyzed."

"Well, if you say so," said Remus, a disbelieving expression on his face. "Come on. Let's go, they're waiting for us."

Walking side by side to class, Sirius and Remus made a sight, at least for fan girls of the slash type. Girls in clumps left right and center squealed to each other, while speculating who was the dominant in their non-existent relationship, as they walked past. Sirius exuded charm and charisma, while Remus's aura was aggressive and dominant.

Remus ignored them, while Sirius murmured to him softly, "They think we're hot."

"Yeah, but hot together," said Remus offhandedly, snickering slightly when Sirius blanched.

And then feeling slightly guilty, Remus said, "Relax, that's not ever going to happen."

"Good," said Sirius. There was relief. At least, Remus wasn't hurt. And he didn't know why that thought flitted into his mind.

The walk to class had never been quicker.

Jay, James and Peter were already in class. The only available spots were beside Jay. Jay looked and smiled. "Hey."

"Hey," replied Sirius.

For the first time, since Sirius met him, Jay seemed like just a normal guy, well normal for a wizard anyway – it was like a person wouldn't be able to tell that he was out of time and homosexual, because homosexuality wasn't viewed as normal.

Sirius kept staring at Jay.

"Is there something on my face? Or is there something you want that you can't reach?" asked Jay, smirking playfully.

"Eh…it's nothing…" murmured Sirius.

What was wrong with him? Sirius couldn't understand how Jay suddenly appeared and threw his life off balance. Everything about the older boy confused him. At first it felt like Jay was interested in him, now it just seemed as if it had been nothing at all. To make matters worse, Sirius was beginning to feel curiosity about the older male.

Later on, at lunch, Sirius stabbed at his potatoes. He really wanted to figure out the mystery that was James Potter II aka. Jay Prewett. And at this point he didn't know enough. Well, at least Sirius liked a good challenge.

Sirius glared at his plate. He didn't notice when Remus called his name.

"What?" snarled Sirius turning towards his friend.

"We're going to be late for class," said Remus.

"Right," said Sirius, taking one last bite from his mutilated and less than half finished lunch.

"You're going to get hungry later," said Remus. He picked up a napkin and wrapped up a chocolate chip cookie and a banana. "Here." The sandy-haired boy put the package into Sirius's hand.

"Thanks," said Sirius, blushing. He found it really embarrassing to be taken care of – Remus was _always_ such a mother hen.

"You're welcome," said Remus, smiling.

He watched Jay out of the corner of his eye – the older boy was talking to James and Peter. It seemed as if Jay didn't like Peter and the latter seemed to be afraid of the former. What an interesting conundrum. Remus wanted to get to the bottom of it, but he realized, he would possibly find out soon enough without bothering Jay. It could be something in the future that caused him to feel discomfort around Peter.

Jay sighed, feeling a gaze on him. He turned and his eyes widened when he saw that it was Remus, who had a look of contemplation on his face. He smiled and waved at Remus.

"Prewett's trying to get your attention," said Sirius, poking Remus.

Something about Jay's smile startled Sirius – that's right, it startled him. Why else would he feel his stomach dropping? His eyes widened, and a light flush spread over his cheeks. Everyone in their group turned to stare at him. Sirius shook the feeling off.

"Hey are you okay?" asked James. "You look a little flushed."

"Huh?...Y-yeah," stuttered Sirius, flushing yet again. Then, he glared at James, as if to say, how dare you presume that I'm sick? I would know if I was.

"Well, _excuse_ _me_, for caring about my best friend," said James.

"I'm fine!" snapped Sirius. "And thanks, I guess," he murmured as an afterthought.

"So bipolar," said Jay, smirking.

Sirius raised an eyebrow and stared. "Really now," he murmured sceptically, "and what exactly is this bipolar?"

"Feeling extreme emotions in succession. It's a muggle, psychiatric illness, created by the imbalance of chemicals in the brain," said Jay, as professionally as he could, then he cracked up.

Sirius stared at him stunned for a moment then glared. "I don't see why that would be amusing," murmured Sirius. He turned to James and whispered, "I'm allowed to prank him right?"

"I'm hurt," cried Jay. "Why would you want to prank me? I've done nothing wrong! That is what you're whispering about right?"

"Shut up," said Sirius.

"Wow," murmured Peter, his eyes widening and an expression of admiration glowed on his face. "You sound like mom when she thinks I'm blathering nonsense."

"That's wonderful," said James, clapping Sirius on the back. "You have once again turned Peter into a fanboy."

Sirius grabbed James's right arm and twisted it to the right, nearly popping his elbow – James managed to pull away, as he distracted the other boy with a tickle charm. James immediately sprinted away towards one Lily Evans.

"James! I'm going to kill you!" snarled Sirius, as he rushed towards them.

"You know, Sirius," said Lily, "I don't condone murder. I hope you wouldn't do that in front of me, please take your friend and leave."

"Nooooooooooooooooo!" shouted James. "How could you do this to me? You're breaking my heart!"

"Exactly," said Lily smiling mischievously at James.

"That's enough," said Remus. "You're making a scene. We don't need our new friend thinking you're crazy. Besides, we all know that the both of you are completely in love with each other."

"C'mon on, we've got Charms," said Peter stuttering ever so slightly.

"Great!" said Jay. "It was one of my best classes in fifth year. I wonder what they're teaching. The curriculum might be different from my time."

"Well" said Lily, turning her attention away from James, "let's see what you can do."

"Sure," said Jay. "In class, not here – the situation's more controlled right? I _really_ wouldn't want to make a scene." Jay smirked.

"I can't believe you've already been corrupted," said Lily throwing her hands up into the air.

"Tch," said Jay. "I've always been this way." He smiled self deprecatingly, if only to placate her.

"Not so cocky now, are you?" sneered a Slytherin from behind their group.

"Whatever," said Jay. He pulled out his wand and waved it at the guy and instantly his hair turned bright red.

They did not notice when Professor Delaware walked into the room, crimson robes billowing behind her.

"What the fuck?" snarled the guy.

A couple Gryffindors laughed but were silenced when Professor Delaware's eyes fell on them and slid over to Jay.

"Ooops," murmured Jay, staring down at his lap demurely. He turned around, smirking before apologizing to the Slytherin and turning his hair green. "Back as it should be," he said smiling mischievously.

James and Sirius laughed, leading other Gryffindors to follow as well.

Delaware glared at Jay and said, "I will be notifying the Headmaster."

"Sorry m'am," said Jay, "for disrupting your class. But it was a well cast spell?"

"Yes, yes, boy," said Delaware. "but of course…you show great promise for my class, although, you _should_ _not_ be doing that to human subjects. You have great control. See most students that do cast that spell tend to turn everything else, not just the hair a certain colour. You know how to change inanimate objects into living breathing creatures?"

"Of course m'am," said Jay. He pulled out his notebook and with a flick of his wand and a whisper of the incantation; the note book had turned into a goose with a barred tail that slightly resembled the binding of the book.

The class passed by without further incident. However as they moved to their next class, Charms, one of the Slytherins knocked into Jay, causing his books to fall to the floor. Cursing, Jay bent down to pick up his books, only for the Slytherin to dump his ink bottle bottoms up onto his books.

"You cursed my boyfriend," snarled the Slytherin girl, "you dirty Gryffindork!"

"Just as a warning," said the Slytherin boy from before, "we Slytherins look out for our own." He dug his heel into the Jay's books. His girlfriend leaned up and planted a kiss on his lips.

"Urgh," said Jay. "Take your snog fest elsewhere."

However, as if mocking him, the two Slytherins' kiss became more heated. The boy even let his hand creep into the folds of her robes, presumably under her skirt, as well.


	4. Chapter 2 part 2

Chapter 2 part 2 – September 11th

Just as he was about to pull out his wand and show them what he could do, a young professor Flitwick walked by. Jay didn't stare, but he knew that his father had enjoyed the old professor's class, at least when he was old – and his grandmother, who was currently standing beside him, certainly aced them. He felt a little strange and more out of place than he had been for the last couple days.

Jay sighed, Lily, Remus and Peter towards the classroom. Sirius and James were lagging behind, most possibly to play pranks on other students, whatever their houses were, but the students from Slytherin (and some of the younger ones who didn't know any better) took the brunt of most of their pranks anyway.

When they finally sat down, Jay slammed his head onto his table. Lily, who was sitting beside him, stared quizzically. He gave her a weak smile. He murmured, "Life sucks. I made a bad impression already; it's barely been a week. Usually it takes about the first month before I blow."

"Really?" asked Lily teasingly, "You have that much control?"

"Yeah," said Jay. "It's just here – everything's so familiar, yet different, y'know?"

"No, but I can try to understand. Just tell me how you feel," said Lily smiling.

"Sure, later," said Jay.

James stared at Jay with a slightly miffed expression, while Sirius suddenly found his books very interesting.

"Hey, don't worry about it man," said Remus, patting James on the back. "Jay's got his eyes on someone else." Remus stared out of the corner of his eye, at Sirius, who was still staring at his books, but a light flush was spreading over his cheeks.

Peter just stared at his friends with a clueless expression painted over his face. He was too busy worrying about his friends' antics and wondering when he'd be able to share in their pranks or at least be treated as an equal by Sirius and James that he failed to notice the burgeoning attraction that Jay seemed to hold for Sirius and vice versa.

"Today, we will be covering the Removal Charm," said Professor Flitwick.

"This is easy," murmured James.

Sirius nodded in response. Professor Flitwick continued, ignoring the fact that students were already losing interest.

Instead of paying attention to Professor Flitwick, James snuck glances at Lily, who despite being bored to death, took note of the petite professor's lecture.

The practicum was easy. It was the mirror of the Sticking Charm. If one were to use a sticking charm, one would be to push the wand forward, to the right. And the removal charm was to pull back towards the left. Pronunciation of the incantation though was easy as well: amoveo.

Sirius poked James, who grumbled. "Yes?"

"I think this charm would be good for removing hair, yes?" asked Sirius.

"Been there done that," said James, "remember Curtis Diggory?"

"Right," said Sirius, his laughed lightly.

Lily chose that moment to glare at them, displeased at their childishness. Jay just shook his head, smirking slightly. Remus sighed, thumbing through his books and encouraged Peter after each failed attempt to master the seemingly simplistic charm. And, Peter struggled with the charm for a bit, then finally, when he mastered it, gabbled a little too excitedly, causing the other students to stare at him and anyone who associated with him a little askance. Lily and Remus congratulated him for his hard work.

In the meantime, Jay was scribbling and trying to continue working out how the portrait of Mrs. Black could be removed. For the longest time, he and his family members had been helping Teddy and his mother try to remove the blasted portrait. And they still hadn't found a way. He continued to scribble away – thoughts and ideas formed in his mind.

Why didn't amoveo work? It was the best removal charm there was – simple and effective. But the portrait and its evil occupant remained. It was best not to disturb her. Growling softly under his breath, he didn't notice when he was the only one still sitting at his desk, until Lily poked him on the arm.

"Hey, firebrand," said Lily, "let's go."

"Sure thing, firecracker" said Jay, his previous frustration melted away, as he stared into his grandmother's eyes.

Their nicknames had to do with their hair and personalities. Jay was easy going, but he could be explosive. He was also a bit of a prankster as well – he had told them all stories from his own time about the pranks that he and his cousins had played. He seemed to have toned down though in the presence of the greatest pranksters of all time, though his uncles Fred and George had come close. He and his own generation had vowed to surpass them. Thinking of them, he was saddened by the thought that he might never get back. He sighed a little.

"Hey, you okay?" asked James.

"Yeah," said Jay, unenthusiastically. "Just thinking about my family, I've never been so far away from them before." And so close, he thought, privately.

James nodded, seeming to catch his unvoiced thought. Jay smiled at the older boy.

"So…" said Remus, "what now? We still have time to spare before dinner."

"I want to fly," said Jay.

"The Quidditch pitch then," said James.

They walked there in silence. Jay's melancholy mood affected all of them. They had come to view themselves as friends, and maybe even family, disregarding the blood relations between James, Jay and Lily. Even with melancholy in the air, there was it was a comfortable silence – like communion or mutual understanding and empathy.

"It must hurt for you to suddenly leave your family like this," said Sirius, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, I don't know if – no, _when_ I might see them again," said Jay. "I just hope I don't stay here, grow up without my brother and sister…" and get killed during this war or the next, the rest of his sentence was incomplete.

"So what are they like?" asked Sirius.

"My, you're rather talkative. I thought you were avoiding me?" asked Jay.

"You're the one avoiding me," huffed Sirius.

"Right, of course," said Jay airily. "I believe that. You are difficult to ignore."

"I thought you were going to tell us about your family," said Lily.

"Right," said Jay. "I have a heck of a lot of cousins, but that's what being related to the Weasley's is like. Let's see, I've also got a bunch of dead relatives. Um...okay, my dad," Jay paused, wondering how to tell them without revealing too much. "My dad, he's your son, James, just like we established. He's He's a great man, Auror. He catches stray Death Eaters and other crazy homicidal maniacs. My mom, she's a Weasley. She's as strict as her mother, but she's great. I've got a younger brother and sister. My brother's entering to fifth year and my sister, third. We are all in Gryffindor. My sister is most like our mother. We, my brother and I are more like our father. And our family is insanely obsessed with Quidditch. Mum's used to play for the Harpies."

"Hey," said Sirius, "let's play twenty questions."

"No," said Jay shortly, "I've already said too much."

"It was nothing important," whined Sirius, pouting.

Jay had to avert his eyes, otherwise, he'd give in and that would only lead to disaster. There was the horrible realization that he had fallen in love, only two weeks into falling through time into the past and meeting his father's godfather. The most horrible fact was that he had fallen in love _with_ his father's godfather. He groaned, hitting his forehead with a fist.

"Are you okay?" asked Remus, after shooing James, Sirius and Peter away. Lily stayed behind.

"No," growled Jay. "No. How can I be okay? I've just fallen in love with my grandfather's best friend. And I don't even belong here in this time. I've pretty much screwed myself over doing this. I almost told you guys everything, about my past and your future. It would have changed everything. I have to exist and in these circumstances. Everything happens for a reason…I can't change any of this. I would not be here, if I told you everything. There will always be things I can't you guys, whether I make it back or not."

"Oh," said Lily, "is there anything we can do for you?"

"Make sure Sirius never finds out that I am in love with him. Not only will he freak out, but he will see it as an opportunity to weasel everything from me, or use me. I do _not_ want that to happen," said Jay.

Unbeknownst to the three of them, James, Sirius and Peter were listening. They stared at each other wide eyed. Sirius hung his head. He could not believe that Jay thought that lowly of him, despite claiming to be in love with him.

"C'mon," said Lily, "let's go to dinner."

"Go without me," said Jay.

"If you say so," said Lily, doubtfully.

"I'm not desperate enough to do something that stupid," said Jay. "Thanks. I might as well come, after all."

Jay smiled at Lily, who smiled back.

"You're welcome," said Lily.

Remus stood a little while away. "Let's go. They're going to start without us."

During their little conversation, James and Peter had to drag Sirius from the behind the bleachers.

"Ah…we didn't fly after all," said Jay, a little disappointed.

"You can do that next time," said Lily. "And you said that you took advanced classes. Why aren't you in any?"

"I purposely failed the tests the professors gave me," said Jay. "I like you guys too much to leave you guys behind."

"I think that's nice of you," said Remus smiling softly.

"It's wonderful," said Lily. "We'll be great friends for however long you are here."

The three of them walked in together, as they talked about their studies and hobbies. Sometimes Jay would experience a pang of homesickness, as he remembered playing Quidditch and chess with his family members, mostly the Weasely cousins and of course his siblings. He could remember being shown Sudoku, a Euro-Japanese muggle game based on Euler's Latin Squares by his cousins Hugo and Rose.

Entering the great hall they were assaulted by the noise of the masses. They moved towards the Gryffindor table and saw James waving at them. They slid in next to him. Jay could not help but notice that Sirius was staring at the table and hadn't looked up.

"Hey," said Jay, "what's up with him?"

"It's nothing," said James, covering for his friend's slight depression, and their eavesdropping.

"I can see that," said Jay sarcastically. "You're obviously lying, James."

"I heard you," said Sirius, "I was hiding behind the bleachers."

"I see," said Jay, quietly. "Strange, are you feeling guilty?"

"Look," said Sirius, "I don't like that you think so lowly of me. And yeah, I'm sorry. It was obviously _something_ I shouldn't have heard, so of course I feel guilty."

"How can you be so callous about this?" snapped Jay, standing up. He towered over Sirius's seated form.

When they were both standing, Sirius was only half a head shorter than Jay, who had been tall. It was something he had inherited from his mother's side of the family. Staring up at Jay, Sirius realized for that it was his very first time, seeing Jay this angry. And it scared him, a little.

Sirius was speechless. He had nothing to say to Jay. The taller boy stared him down. He shivered a little and tried to make himself as small as possible.

"I'm sorry, really," said Sirius meekly, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

"No," said Jay, "you were curious. You meant to eavesdrop. You just didn't mean to find out and care, then get caught, I know. Whatever."

Jay turned and walked away, leaving Sirius there stunned. His friends and Lily turned to look at him, surprise and concern were written on their faces. Lily, sighed and stood up.

"Take care of this one, while I talk to Jay," said Lily to James.

"S-sure," said James, looking after her hopefully. He had wanted to follow her and Jay. Jay was his grandson and he needed to make sure he was okay.

"It's okay," said Sirius. "Go after her. Besides, Remy and Peter can keep me company."

Following Lily, James left Sirius to Remus and Peter. He found them at the astronomy tower. They were huddled together.

"Hey," said James. "How are you guys?"

"Good, now leave us alone," said Lily, without looking over her shoulder.

"It's okay," said Jay, "the guy's my grandfather."

"He's still an irresponsible idiot," said Lily.

"Yeah," said Jay, "but he's still family." Just like you. You're the grandmother, my sister's named after. He did not complete his thought. He did not want to force her to marry James. No, their love had to develop, and there was still time for him to make sure they would be together until the end of their days.

"Let's go down to the kitchens," said James.

"I'm not hungry," said Jay.

"Yeah, but we can talk over tea," said James. "We'll be more comfortable there."

"Fine," grumbled Jay. Then he leaned over and whispered into James's ear, "trying to put yourself into Lily's good books?"

James chuckled, "This is as much for you as it is for her, grandson."

"Sure, old man," said Jay, smiling a little. "Let's go. I might be a little hungry after all."


	5. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Interlude

The rest of the night before blurred in a haze of colours and sounds, scents and aromas. Feeling satisfied, he woke without much fuss. He got out of bed quietly. The others were still asleep, still in anchored in the land of dreams because their bodies were heavy still with sleep and remnants of the food from last night.

Jay sat on his bed. It was time he wrote some of the letters he had pledged he would write to his parents. When the next trip to Hogsmeade was he would try and sneak out. Or perhaps during Christmas, he could ask Lily to help him with the Muggle Post. With that in mind he began to write.

Dear Dad and Mum

I hope you get this before we leave for Hogwart's on September 1st 2022. That way you would be less worried.

You won't believe this! Right now, I am at Hogwarts in 1974. I don't know how I got here, but I think it had something to do with getting hit in the head by a gold ring…you know the one that Teddy freaked out to you, Dad, about losing? Your godfather's? Yeah, that's the one. Anyway, I still have it on me. I just don't know how or why it appeared out of thin air to hit me on the back of my head and brought me through time.

And mum, don't worry. I _am_ doing my Sixth year studies. I mean what do I do if I don't do the work? Besides, people will get suspicious. Anyway, dad, I met granddad and grandma. It's a little strange and all. I've been trying to keep myself occupied, so that I don't kill a certain rat. You know, Uncle Remus, reminds me of Teddy and Grandma Lily, she reminds me too much of sis. It's kind of scary. Grandpa and Sirius are cool. They still prank people a lot and yeah, Snape is still getting the brunt of their pranks, even if they are less…destructive about it, since Grandpa James is trying to court Grandma Lily. So far, life is good.

Anyway, I need to hide this before they wake up, yeah?

It's kind of too bad, because I have to send this by Muggle Post. How else would it reach you? Anyway, I'll keep you posted. And please don't worry too much. I'll figure out a way to get back, yeah?

Love James S. Potter

P.S. You know when I came out and told you guys that I was bi? Well, I found myself in a kind of snitch. I know I'm in love with your godfather, Dad. Please don't freak out! And when I _do_ come back, please don't kill me. Oh and, Dad, by any chance that you think this is funny, you should know that my heart is already breaking. It's an impossible love.

Jay sighed. It wasn't fair. Writing it out in the letter made it so much more real. He was stuck in a time that he did not belong to. He was away from his family and he was in love with someone that he should never have fallen for. His heart hurt. He was aching to be with his family, but a part of him wanted to stay, and see if he could make things work with Sirius, even though he was sure that the other boy could never love him.

From what Jay knew, Sirius was as straight as a poker. That and homosexuality was frowned upon in society at this place and time. Even if he were to stay and that they did have a secret relationship, if Sirius did love him back, he knew that Sirius had been single from his father's stories. That would mean that he either died or broke up with Sirius and never thought to return to his family. He winced at the thought. None of the latter possibilities seemed likely. At this point, he knew he would return home without hesitation. Despite loving Sirius, he knew how impossible it would be. It was better for the two of them to never start anything.

He did not know how long he sat there brooding, but he nearly jumped when hand connected with his shoulder softly, almost as if the person were afraid that he was to attack at the slightest movement. Large brown eyes stared concerned into his.

"Are you okay?" asked Sirius. "Remi asked me to come get you."

Jay grunted, shrugging Sirius's hand off him. Remus might think he was doing the right thing by letting them get closer together, but Jay wanted to limit their interaction, following his previous line of thought. It would be better for the both of them if they stayed apart. That way, Jay would not make a fool of himself, or be tempted to woo the brown eyed pretty boy, thus leading to a tragedy of the most epic proportions thus severing threads and reweaving the fabric of time and space.

Sirius sat there staring after Jay, who did not respond. Instead, the older boy slid of his bed and grabbed his gear, heading towards the bathroom.

Sirius was used to people bending to every whim. He did not like that Jay was ignoring him. He had swallowed his pride, and done what Remi had asked of him, only to be treated as if he were nobody. Growling, Sirius pushed himself away from the bed and headed out the dorm door in a foul mood. And to make matters worse, he felt a slight pain in his heart at Jay's callousness. He was unable to fathom why he felt that way. It was similar to the way he felt during his fights with his friends, especially James. It was different though…he felt a sort of loss that he never felt with his friends. Frustrated, he stomped down the stairs.

"Hey, Siri," said Remus, "you okay?"

"No," ground out Sirius, frowning.

"What did he do?" said Remus, concernedly.

"He ignored me," said Sirius pouting.

"And why does that bother you?" asked Remus raising an eyebrow. "You've barely associated with him since you found out he was homosexual."

"I don't know," said Sirius, pouting even more and running hand distracted through his dark brown locks.

"Well, you might have gotten used to him and want to be his friend," said Remus slowly. Something told him that wasn't it. Then it clicked, Sirius was beginning to fall in love with their mutual friend.

Remus smiled softly. This year was going to be interesting after all. He just hoped that there would not be heartbreak and tears in the future.


	6. Chapter 3 part 2

Chapter 3 part 2 – Interlude

Something about Remus seemed off to him, as Sirius left his friend's company. He did not like the contemplative expression on Remus's face – it did not bode well with him. Did Remus think that he, Sirius could be falling in love with the boy from the future? Nah, it couldn't be. It did not seem like something realistic, and Sirius prided himself as being realistic, even though he was half the brains behind the Marauders' pranks.

Sirius wandered away from Remus, who, now without Sirius to take care of – as if he were some sort of baby, Sirius scoffed – was now sitting on one of armchairs reading. From his vantage point, Sirius could see that he was reading one of the textbooks, The Standard Book of Spells, Level 6. He could barely understand why his friend was so obsessed with his studies, when he was wasting his youth away.

Becoming bored, Sirius meandered back towards his friend. He sat down across from Remus, making a sniffing noise to show his disdain for the activity. When Remus looked at him quizzically, he upturned his nose. Remus responded by sighing in a long suffering manner. He knew his friend could never understand the concept of working hard, even if it was associated with the Muggle phrase work hard, play hard.

Shaking his head, Sirius turned to watch James and Lily, who were studying together. Seriously what the hell? James was actually making an effort to work. It was all because of his crush on Lily. It was only a passing fancy, so why was he making all the effort? But then, they could make a beautiful couple. He couldn't stop a pang of envy towards them. There was no one who didn't just worship him – no one cared about him the way James did Lily, or the way that Lily seemed to be getting close to caring about James. It had had started at the end of last year, when James asked her to tutor him in Potions – they've been doing their stupid study sessions ever since. In some ways, Sirius thought he was losing his best friend, even though they still had time to prank people – especially Snivellus, ahem, Snape, though it was becoming one of those less frequent things. Apparently James was now mature enough to respect Lily's wishes. Their situation with Snape had become one of those leave well alone until it comes to bite you, then you attack things. Sirius scrunched up his face.

One of the things that had brought Lily into James's good graces had been the time that he had saved Snape from Remus in his wolf form. Though at first she like Snape had believed that James had only done that to escape expulsion, though, when James explained that even though he hated Snape, being Slytherin and that he was jealous of his relationship with Lily, he did not wish Snape serious physical harm, her perspective of him changed. Thus it made her easier to approach, at least for James. And she felt horrible for Remus, but she hated Sirius beyond belief for bringing harm to her childhood friend, though she seemed to have learned to tolerate him just for James's sake. And as for her relationship with Snape, it was beginning to pull at the seams, due to their differences in personality and upbringing, though it seemed that Snape too, was in love with her. And this had already begun in their fifth year, when Snape had begun calling her Mudblood, despite the fact that he had always, up until then had been the black sheep of the Slytherin House.

Footsteps on the stairs that connected the common room from the dorms sounded, bringing Sirius out of his thoughts. He looked up and smiled when he saw that it was Jay. Ever since James became less available due to his courting of Lily, Sirius had been becoming closer with the Jay, even though at first, he was uncomfortable with Jay's homosexuality.

Remus watched Sirius and Jay over the top of his book with a contemplatively, and smiled knowingly. They were becoming closer in a way that seemed to mirror James and Lily's relationship, at least the way it had been at the end of their fifth year which unbelievably was only a couple months back. He found it a bit funny though, that Sirius was the one who was being courted. And it was true, Jay really was James's Mini-Me, in certain ways, though Jay seemed to have an honour code that James never developed, until now.

"Hey, Sirius, Remus, James, Lily. And where's Peter?" asked Jay.

Jay did not like what he was seeing. Was Peter already breaking away from the Marauders? He shivered. Not yet, please not yet.

The greeting was returned.

"Peter went down to the Great Hall," said Remus, smiling fondly, "he's getting dinner first."

"Right," said Jay, he was unable though, however to keep the unease from his voice and expression.

"Is something wrong?" asked Sirius, curiously.

"No," said Jay softly, "and since when have you been keeping such a close watch on me to know the difference in my expressions? We barely know each other."

Sirius flushed. "I thought we were beginning to become friends," he said indignantly.

"You're trying to use me to replace James," scoffed Jay.

It was too good to be true that Sirius was beginning to accept him, but it hurt because the only plausible reason for that happening was the supposed deterioration of the friendship between James and Sirius. Jay could not help but be disdainful towards that. He knew it was cruel and heartless, but he was hurt and he wanted Sirius to hurt too.

"I never should have accepted you! You cocksucking git!" shouted Sirius.

"You're a shallow little twit," sneered Jay quietly, storming away.

Remus looked up from his book, frowning. That couldn't be right. The two of them were supposed to get closer, become better friends and fall in love. What went wrong? Then he turned towards James and Lily, shook his head and smiled. Those two had gone a long way, and Jay and Sirius still had a long way to go. He shouldn't get ahead of himself and the others. What happened in the future between Jay and Sirius would depend on how they thought of each other and right now they hated each other, almost like the beginning of James and Lily. One step forward, two steps back, thought Remus, sighing softly.


	7. Chapter 3 part 3

Chapter 3 part 3 – Interlude

Growling angrily, Jay pushed the Fat Lady's portrait away from the Gryffindor tower exit, letting her slam behind him. He ignored her shrieks, squawks and curses. He stalked through corridors and down the stairs towards the exit. He needed fresh air.

Jay didn't care if he was caught. He didn't care about house points. They were meaningless at the moment, besides, this wasn't even his life. His life belonged in the future. This existence was just him barging into the past. What happened in this timeline should not matter, and it didn't matter. Then why did it hurt so much? Why did Sirius's words hurt so badly?

Jay did not want to think about it. He did not want to acknowledge it. If he didn't then the feeling would not exist. But he knew that he couldn't pretend anymore. He was in love – desperately in love with the beautiful mischievous _young_ Sirius Black. And those were not the only adjectives that Jay knew would describe the boy. This boy was untouched, untried. And he grew up bitter – betrayed by one he called friend and imprisoned wrongly.

Jay was chilled to the bone. He loved a young Sirius Black, but what about an older Sirius Black, the one his father had known? And he knew then, it didn't matter because even at the last moment, right before his death, he was still beautiful.

Jay's fascination with his father's godfather had long been planted when he listened to his father's stories. The man had died an honourable death, and he had died laughing. He had died the way he had wanted, doing something he thought was right. He was beautiful.

Jay also knew though, that Sirius was prideful, but then so was he. It was pride that had lead to those harsh words back in the common room. He knew that, had always known that, but it had hurt, and he threw harsh words back.

Jay finally made it out. He had walked a half circle around the Great Lake, only to notice that there was a shadow of a figure that just left the building. Jay stood there watching. He was curious. Who was this person? They must be brooding about something.

The figure was now across the lake. The half moon was laid bare when the clouds flittered away, revealing the person as none other than Severus Snape.

Even from across the lake, Jay could see the scowl on the man's face. What he was not prepared for was the sudden change in expression – it was one of trepidation and hunger. What he was hungering for, Jay could not tell, but he wondered maybe it was information pertaining Lily. But then it was gone, as if it was never there.

"Prewett," said Snape.

"Snape," said Jay. "Evening."

"How strange," said Snape, "a Gryffindor with manners."

"Skip the fluff Snape," said Jay, "what do you want?"

"Tell me, Prewett," said Snape, "how is Lily? Is she happy?"

"Seems so, don't it?" said Jay. "If you have any doubts. She definitely is. And so will you, someday in the future, no matter how difficult and short that time is."

Jay turned and left Severus Snape to his thoughts. He hadn't meant to reveal so much, but it would help to give the younger boy some hope that one day he would be happy, at least once in his life, no matter how painful the journey to it would be.

Feeling a lot better, Jay walked back to the school. He had finally come to terms with his feelings for Sirius. They were more than just a passing fancy, as he had once hoped they were. Now he had a choice to make – should he stay or should he leave? He would deal with it tomorrow. If he decided to leave, he did not know how long it would take him to devise a way to return home, unless, he got response from his parents. The only way for that to happen was that they come back to get him and he had yet to send the letter he had written. And he could not leave the school until All Hallow's Eve. And it was still weeks away. He still had to deal with the situation with Sirius, until then. He could feel a headache coming on. Only that he was not sure whether it was the cold or just the thoughts he had that was causing it.

Slowly, Jay trudged up the stairs and making sure not to fall off the Grand Staircase. It was tedious, but then he made it. And the Fat Lady refused to let him in. She snarled and shouted at him, when he refused to back down, she ignored him. That was until Remus poked his head out and let Jay in.

Jay however was not prepared for the sight of Sirius curled into a ball on a couch. The younger boy's hair was damp and matted, and his face was marked by saline streaks. The boy had been crying.

Jay did not need to feel Remus's glare on the back his head to know that it was his fault. After all, as far as he knew, he was the last person Sirius had fought with tonight. And he felt his heart drop past his stomach and nausea rise in its place. Ah, they are such wonderful symptoms of guilt. His shoulders seemed to collapse under the strain of his guilt.

"You see what you have done?" asked Remus sharply.

"I knocked him down more than a peg," said Jay unrepentant. "He needs to know that not everyone is a part of his adoring fan club, especially me."

He disguised his guilt behind his wounded pride.

Jay knew that Remus was aware of his growing feelings for the other boy, so he knew that he did not have to be explicit with him. He was sure that their entire group knew about his feelings for the boy, except for Sirius himself, who seemed to be catching on just now.

"You are one cold son of a bitch," said Remus.

"I know," said Jay, "I have to be in situations like this. I can't afford to let anyone become too attached or become too attached myself. I mean, breaking friendships, I can deal with but a romantic relationship? That is beyond me, the shadows of it would exist far into the future."

"You mean to say that you plan to leave?" asked Remus.

"Yes," said Jay, "this is not my time. I cannot follow this timeline without screwing up the fabric of time or dying. My father has never met Jay Prewett. So _if_ I stay in this timeline, I will have to have died long before I was born to my parents. Either way, my leaving will hurt Sirius. It is better that I make him hate me, so that he won't hurt when I leave. I don't want to lead him on and allow him to keep waiting for someone who will never come back."

"If you do this, you'll only hurt him and I know you don't want to hurt him because you love him. I think that it's bullshit that you see no other choice. You're being selfish," said Remus, then he lowered his voice. "You are not the only one who loves Sirius. I hate to see him hurt, and I hate you for hurting him, but he loves you. You've done enough to hurt him. You should take responsibility and tell him the truth. Let him make his choice. Don't force him. It will only make the both of you miserable for your remaining time here."


	8. Chapter 3 part 4

Chapter 3 part 4 – Interlude

Sirius could feel his eyes sting, even as he shouted at Jay and called him a cock sucking git. He felt like he could explode – anger and fear, along with a myriad of other emotions, like love and its perfect opposite hate. It was so very confusing. He could feel his head pound.

And then Jay stormed away after calling him a shallow little twit. Those words hurt so very much. And he felt a pang of loss. He had felt the fear of it happening not even a second ago, but it already felt like hours. Oh! He really was in love with Jay. He could no longer deny it.

But it was a mistake. They weren't meant to be. Jay clearly thought very little of him and hated him. Besides, he could never love a boy that belonged in the future in which Sirius was much older than him. It was a horrible beautiful mistake because only love could be beautiful and hurtful at the same time.

The realization led the stinging in his eyes to become the tears welling up in his eyes. Sirius broke into a sob. And Remus, being the wonderful concerned friend that he was pulled the other boy into his arms, whispering soothing words and making soft caresses in his golden brown curly locks.

"You're the only one who understands," cried Sirius. He buried his face into his friend's shoulder. "People you cared about left you too."

"Yes," said Remus. Even though it hurt to be reminded, he really could sympathise with Sirius. "And I am so very sorry that Jay cannot appreciate you."

Remus knew he really should not being doing this when his friend was so very heartbroken, but it hurt so very much to see him this way. How do you explain to your friend that you have been in love with him for a very long time? It had been the very day they had met so very long ago in their first year, and Remus had seen Sirius as a beautiful fallen angel. The boy had been so very sad and hurt, prideful and self-sufficient at holding himself together.

It had been James who had helped Sirius mend his hurt, not that Remus hadn't had a part in it. To Remus, that part had been too small. He had joined them in their friendship later on and welcoming Peter, who during their first year been barely noticed and when he was noticed the butt of most jokes in the Gryffindor Common Room. But that had been before James, Sirius and Remus welcomed him into their circle. James and Sirius never, boring a Muggle phrase, 'kicked anyone when they were down'. It was a part of the Marauders' honour code, though the Slytherins, especially Snape, seemed to be quite the exception.

Reminiscing would do Sirius no good, especially if it was all about the development of Remus's feelings for him. Remus sighed and rubbed his friend's back soothingly, whispering words of comfort to his friend.

Jay was Sirius's first love and he dared not mention his own feelings for the boy, knowing he would not take it well. Besides, it would not be fair to push his own feelings on the younger boy, when he was so down and confused. It would only cause more confusion and heartbreak.

Remus knew that despite the rejection, Jay loved Sirius very much as well. It would not be fair to him as well.

"C'mon Sirius," said Remus coaxingly, instead, "you should stop crying, you would not want your reputation to suffer would you?"

"No!" shouted Sirius, mortified, "of course not!"

"Well?" said Remus, "do you feel better?"

"Yes," said Sirius, blushing and lowering his eyes, "thanks, Remi."

Then he stared back up at Remus, eyes piercing and completely serious, and said, "you better not tell James or anyone else."

The words, especially not Jay, hung silently in the air. Remus felt those words tear through him. It was clear that no matter how much Jay had hurt Sirius, the younger boy still valued Jay's opinion of him. It was so very sweet, but it hurt like a million thorns were embedded in Remus's heart. He tried very hard to keep the pain from showing in his eyes.

"Of course," said Remus, blithely, while his heart was torn up, "let's go."

Remus buried his envy and resentment, as he did with his feelings for his beautiful friend. He had become so skilled through the years at it that he had almost forgotten they were there. But Jay's arrival had changed everything. He had seen a great rival for Sirius's affections, which he himself had never owned.

And it was so very difficult to hate the boy. When part of the situation was his own fault – he had never struck up the courage to tell Sirius that he loved him. Still he was never one to reap the benefits from someone's mistakes. No he was too noble for that. So he waited until Sirius's breathing slowed and finally his eyes fell close. He laid his friend and object of his affections on the couch.

He barely did that when Jay rushed into the room.

He watched as Jay's eyes took in the scene. He knew that the redheaded boy was not prepared for the sight of Sirius curled into a ball on a couch. Sirius was a sore sight with his hair damp and matted, and his face was marked by saline streaks. The boy had been crying.

Remus glared at the back Jay's head. His anger dampened by the hunch in Jay's shoulders. He knew the other boy felt guilty. Still he had to play the overprotective friend, and secret admirer to his beautiful friend.

"You see what you have done?" asked Remus sharply.

"I knocked him down more than a peg," said Jay unrepentant. "He needs to know that not everyone is a part of his adoring fan club, especially me."

Jay knew that Remus was aware of his growing feelings for the other boy, so he knew that he did not have to be explicit with him. He was sure that their entire group knew about his feelings for the boy, except for Sirius himself, who seemed to be catching on now.

"You are one cold son of a bitch," said Remus.

"I know," said Jay, "I have to be in situations like this. I can't afford to let anyone become too attached or become too attached myself. I mean, breaking friendships, I can deal with but a romantic relationship? That is beyond me, the shadows of it would exist far into the future."

"You mean to say that you plan to leave?" asked Remus.

"Yes," said Jay, "this is not my time. I cannot follow this timeline without screwing up the fabric of time or dying. My father has never met Jay Prewett. So _if_ I stay in this timeline, I will have to have died long before I was born to my parents. Either way, my leaving will hurt Sirius. It is better that I make him hate me, so that he won't hurt when I leave. I don't want to lead him on and allow him to keep waiting for someone who will never come back."

"If you do this, you'll only hurt him and I know you don't want to hurt him because you love him. I think that it's bullshit that you see no other choice. You're being selfish," said Remus, then he lowered his voice. "You are not the only one who loves Sirius. I hate to see him hurt, and I hate you for hurting him, but he loves you. You've done enough to hurt him. You should take responsibility and tell him the truth. Let him make his choice. Don't force him. It will only make the both of you miserable for your remaining time here."


	9. Chapter 3 part 5

Chapter 3 part 5 – Interlude

Hearing voices rose in an argument, Sirius was roused from his sleep. It was not as if he was having good dreams anyway. He was having a nightmare. Jay had confessed his love, but it barely mattered because the older boy was leaving. Sirius rubbed his eyes sleepily. He sat up to watch as Jay and Remus argued. His eyes widened as his mind began to comprehend what they were arguing about. It was his nightmare come true – Jay really did have feelings for him, but he planned on leaving. Sirius felt as if the world he had come to know was slowly falling apart before his eyes.

Hot tears welled up from his tear ducts, sticking to his long dark lashes and brimming over his eye lids. Sirius let out a heart wrenching sob. It wasn't fair.

Sirius had never thought that loving and being loved could hurt so much. He could feel his heart tearing at the seams once more. But lord, it hurt so much more than it had before. How could knowing that the person you loved, loved you back hurt so much?

"Do you see what you are doing to him?" snarled Remus. His eyes more gold than brown protruding from their sockets glared at Jay. He was more wolf than man.

"I have eyes, Remus," said Jay. "Of course I can see what I am doing."

"You don't have eyes enough!" snarled Remus. "Maybe I should carve you a new one."

His stance had changed – legs and shoulder's squared and torso angled towards Jay. He was getting ready to lunge. He did not care about his wand. He needed to fight. He need to feel Jay's bones break, muscles tear and to smell his blood rise from torn flesh.

Jay's hand automatically went to his pocket to his wand. Lips beginning to form sounds to an incantation.

"Stop it! The both of you stop!" shouted Sirius.

He crossed the floor between them. Remus froze. Jay closed his lips. The two of them stared at each other warily, waiting and wondering. Who would be the first to swerve around Sirius to attack?

"What's going on here?" shouted James.

He and Lily had just come back from one of their lovers' trysts on the castle grounds under the Invisibility Cloak. The two of them had left before Jay and Sirius's argument, thus did not know the state of their affairs until now, hours later when a brawl was about to break loose between Jay and Remus.

Both Jay and Remus turned toward James. Jay stood down. He did not want his grandfather to think badly of him. And Remus backed away, knowing that James was not a threat. Besides he owed his friend for saving Snape's life and his own. He did not want his friend to know that his control was wearing thin, tonight so very close to the full moon.

"I want to know what's going on here," said James.

It hurt him to see his friends fighting. Although he had only gotten to know Jay these past weeks, he felt as if he had known him for years. And Remus was one of his oldest friends.

"Remus you're a prefect!" said Lily, "how can you get into a fight like this?"

She was upset that one of her closest friends was acting so very unlike himself and that he was a danger to one of her other friends (and most probably to himself as well).

"I can't control myself all that well close to the full moon," said Remus gritting his teeth. "That selfish bastard was hurting Sirius on purpose for his own ends. He plans to break Sirius's heart and leave."

"He's right," sighed Jay, bowing his head. "I am a selfish bastard, but it's not like that…I had no idea this would happen. I did not know that I would hurt Sirius so much. I never meant to hurt him so much. I just wanted him to hate me. I didn't know that he cared so much. If I had known…I wouldn't have said those things."

"You knew what you were doing was going to hurt me," said Sirius accusingly.

"You were going to get hurt," said Jay, "one way or another. And it would always be me who would hurt you. I wanted it over and one with early. I wanted to make you hate me before I left. I thought you would hurt less if you hated me."

"It doesn't work that way," said Lily, softly. "Severus wanted our friendship to end that way also…it does not hurt any less."

"I'm sorry Sirius," said Jay. "I never meant for you to get hurt. I wasn't thinking clearly. I didn't take into account that hatred is bred from hurt. I just wanted to get through this alone."

"Hn," said Sirius.

He was not going to accept this half assed apology. He knew that Jay was never meant for him. If he accepted it then it meant that he was going to give in to his feelings and it would hurt so much more when Jay finally left. Besides, his pride never allowed him to accept apologies from anyone much less make any of his own.

"It's been a trying evening," said Lily softly, "let's go to bed okay?"

"Yeah," came the chorus of answers. But everyone knew there would be hardly any sleeping tonight.


	10. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Stay a while and love me while you still can

And it was true that there was little to no sleep that night. It was evident in the zombie manner by which they floated around the next morning. And the ache remained. Sirius still loved Jay and Jay still loved Sirius.

Still, they walked beside one another with their friends (and Jay's family). It would be enough for now. As long as they took the time to cherish each moment together, it would have to be enough for the rest of each their lives.

"As much as I love you and you seem to reciprocate those feelings. We can never be. I will eventually need to leave. So, let's just be friends," said Jay.

"Yes," said Sirius. And he couldn't help it when tears began to well up in his eyes. He loved Jay so much it hurt, but this had to be done. It was supposed to be much easier this way, but why did it hurt to such an extent?

As they walked into the Great Hall, both Jay and Sirius attempted desperately to ignore the pain. Everyone, however, could see that they were both hurting very much. And the Slytherins wanted to monopolize on the moment, but they, being flanked by Remus, James and Lily, while Pettigrew not seen as a threat, knew they had no chance of committing any mischief.

Other students, however, looked upon them, some with disgust and others with pity, as to some their love was heinous and others it was a beautiful, but doomed love, even if they did not know the true story. Of the people who pitied the two young men, a large portion of them were of the female population, and others were adults who thought that their young lives should not be burdened so much.

Sitting down at the Gryffindor table, Jay and Sirius sat side by side next to James and Lily, who tried to make their relationship as subtle as possible hoping that it would improve their friends' moods. And their attempt failed. Both of them barely ate breakfast, opting for pushing their food around in an attempt to pass the time and making no conversation, speaking when spoken to and never looking or speaking to each other.

It was even worse when they entered the classrooms. The two were nearly falling asleep in their books, while brooding in silence. And the day passed like an evil dream that continued on past evening and into the night, until, Sirius grabbed Jay by his arm, motioning towards some chairs in the corner of their common room, as a gesture that he wanted to talk. Jay noting this grew wary. He suspected that Sirius wanted more to their relationship and decided to tear the younger boy's heart to pieces in order to be left alone to wallow in his own pain and to make a somewhat deep and messy cut with the boy, as in situations like these, there was no way to make a clean break.

"I do this anymore. I really like you, Jay," said Sirius. His eyes were large and hopeful.

If Jay hadn't been in love with Sirius the moment he had set eyes on him, he would have fallen now.

"Sorry, but I don't like you," said Jay, "weren't you the one that was disgusted that I was a fag? Didn't you just call me a cocksucking git not too long ago?"

"Jay, I know you love him," said Remus.

"No," said Jay, letting the tone of his voice clip around the word. His face was impassive – cold.

"Don't lie," said Remus, "You're ruining your integrity."

"What the hell Remus? Are you like the Love Doctor now or what?" shouted Jay. "There is no way I'm in love with that high maintenance bitch!"

"Jay! How can you say that?" cried Lily.

The crueller he was the better. If he tore Sirius's heart out, threw it back at his face, the easier it would be to leave and never look back. But why did it hurt so much when he turned and walked away?

"I tell you what," said Jay, sneering at Sirius. "I'm in love with Belle Donner. She's intelligent and kind. You are neither. She's got a sexy body that even _you_ can appreciate. _I_ am going out asker her out. Who's the fag now? You've never dated any of your fangirls. I know what you do. They think it's you, but it's the other guys right?"

Sirius was floored. Jay had always been kind to him. He had forgiven him for his prejudiced words. And now…who was that boy who said those horrible things? He stood there in shock, watching as Jay flirted with Belle Donner. Sirius didn't notice the tears that fell from his eyes, until Remus pointed them out.

"You okay?" asked Remus, concernedly. He knew his friend was anything, but okay. He still had to ask to show that he cared. Besides it would be rude to just go up to his friend and wrap him into his arms. Even though Remus's wolf was Alpha and he was more than willing to tear Jay limb from limb for hurt one of his pack, he held back because it would hurt Sirius and James.

Remus stood next to his friend, wrapping his arms around Sirius. Sirius began to sob into Remus's shoulder, sensing his friend's desire to comfort him. The other boy stood there running soothing hands through his hair and down his back. Sirius soaked in all the support and comfort his friend was willing to give.

"Thanks," said Sirius, giving Remus a watery smile.

"You're welcome," said Remus smiling at his friend sadly.

"It's not fair," said Sirius. He could not help whining. "I love him and he loves me. Why can we be together?"

Remus sighed, and answered Sirius. "You know why."

"Why couldn't it have been you?" asked Sirius.

Remus didn't answer, knowing that it was a rhetorical question. Remus was honoured his friend felt that way, but he was too loyal. It wasn't right for him to love Sirius. Besides, Sirius needed someone like Jay. Remus was too withdrawn. Jay would have been perfect.

"It would have been so much easier," said Sirius, sighing.

And Remus sighed too. Why couldn't it have been him? He loved Sirius as well. He could give the younger boy much more than Jay could – he would be leaving soon.

"Well, Remi," said Sirius. "Thank you. I hope our conversation was not too awkward. Well goodnight. I'm off to bed."

Sirius was rarely thankful. Loving Jay had changed some part of him, and for the better, thought Remus. He felt a little relieved and a little jealous at the same time. Sirius was right it was not fair, but that was life. Fate dealt the cards and mortals had to make do.

Sirius changed into his bedclothes and waited, biding his time. When all his friends had finally climbed into their own beds, he slipped out of his own. He tip toed over to James's bed and grabbed his invisibility cloak.

"I'm sorry, James," whispered Sirius. "I need to borrow your Invisibility Cloak. Don't worry, you'll get it back in the morning."

Sirius walked down the stairs softly – bare foot. When he opened the portrait, he knew that he had alerted the Fat Lady, but she, being used to his and James's escapades, she turned a blind eye. He walked quickly but made sure to stay unseen. He was almost too tall to fit under the cloak now, but he still managed by taking small steps so that it did not rustle so much. He breathed a sigh of relief when he reached the top of the Astronomy tower.

Sirius stood looking out the window. Jay didn't love him…he wasn't loved…Would it be worth it? It wouldn't hurt him…It was just Sirius being cowardly – he felt like he couldn't to live without Jay. And then he made up his mind, as much as he feared death, he would do it. Jay didn't love him. He couldn't live without him. He threw off the cloak and climbed up onto window ledge.


	11. Chapter 4 part 2

Chapter 4 part 2

Sirius was standing on the ledge of the top floor window of the Astronomy tower.

"Fuck Sirius! What the hell were you thinking?" snarled James. "Do you know how freaking stupid this is?"

"Jay hates me," sobbed Sirius.

"I thought _you_ hated him," said James softly.

"I did at first," whimpered Sirius through harsh breaths, sniffling and tears. "But then…you started hanging out more with Lily and…you left me behind…so I started to accept him…and I…I really like him…he…"

"Calm down, Siri, I'm here," said James, "You're not alone, okay? I care, Remi cares, Peter cares, Lily cares, and I'm sure, Jay cares. He just needs some time. He probably didn't know how to react to you. You know a lot of people don't." James laughed nervously, before continuing. "I'm not going to leave because you are my best friend. I'm sorry I neglected you, but I really like Lily, also. and she's been helping me with the assignments. We can _all_ hang out at Three Broomsticks on October 31st. We'll talk about this rationally later okay?"

There was the sound of footsteps rushing up the stairs, Sirius flinched, shifting back a bit, and gasped when he nearly lost his balance.

Turning the corner, Remus, Lily, Jay and Peter rushed on to the scene. Their mouths were open in horror when they saw that Sirius was standing on the window ledge of one of the tallest towers of Hogwarts. The fact that it was top floor did not escape their minds.

"Shit!" said Jay.

Everyone turned towards him. Sirius just laughed a little hysterically, and screamed, "Shit? That's it? That all you have the guts to say? How dare you fucking git?"

Jay fell on his knees. "I'm sorry. Please. I didn't mean it. I…eventually…you shouldn't have feelings for me. I will have to leave eventually. I thought…if I hurt you enough, then you'd distance yourself from me…and eventually get over it."

"How can I get over it? I love you. I've never felt this way before. I've never been in love. You're the only one!" shouted Sirius.

Jay inched forward, making sure that Sirius was preoccupied with his speech and then he grabbed the other boy, wrapping his arms around him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," murmured Jay. "I know I can't take those words back, but you deserve better. And you need to know that I _do_ love you, but we can't ever be anything. I'm leaving soon, I can't stay. As far as I can tell, I'm not a part of your future. If I exist twice in the future the fabric of time would be disrupted and that can't happen. I'm sorry, Sirius. As much as I love you, we are not meant to be."

"Then, until you leave…can you stay with me…love me?" said Sirius looking up into his eyes.

And Jay melted. How could he not? Sirius looked so vulnerable – fragile even, so small and breakable there in his arms – his eyes were wet and swollen with tears, face red and streaked with saline.

"Yes," breathed Jay. "I will stay here with you until my time to leave comes. Promise me, you will move on then."

"I…I p-promise," whispered Sirius. His eyes though, appeared to deny what he said. They shone brightly in the darkness defiantly. He would not let Jay go without a fight. And Jay knew he would be hard-pressed to leave. He did not think that he would be able, when the time came, to sever his ties with his beloved.

"I love you," said Jay. "I always will, even if I cannot always be by your side. I can't and won't forget you, even when I am far into the future. Even then I will always be with you. I don't and won't care no matter how much has changed from now and until then, I will still love you."

The passion and love that Jay had tried to keep locked within his heart was set free at that moment. He could not and would not bear to hide it from the one he loved more than anything and anyone in the world. Sirius was his precious gem, but eventually they would have to part. For now what they had would have to be enough.

This time, Sirius's tears were those of happiness and not despair.


	12. Chapter 5 part 1

When the sun rose the next morning, the dark events of the night before could easily be cast off as an evil dream. The sky was bright blue – there were barely any clouds – and if there were, they were cirrus and high up in the sky. There were not nimbus clouds, full of rain, to dampen the atmosphere. No, it was a bright clear day, though there was some cold wind.

Jay woke as the sunlight pierced his closed lids, and seared his eyes painfully. Hadn't he closed the blinds the night before? He opened his right eye a crack, and found himself looking at the smiling face of Sirius. Memories of last night came to mind and Jay felt guilty instantly, as he remembered the tearful expression and desperate glint in Sirius' eyes, even as he teetered slightly out the window. It had been good timing and well placed words of comfort that had saved the younger boy's life. It was not that Jay didn't mean those words, he did, but those words had been dragged out of him. He had meant to keep his love for Sirius a secret because they were never meant to be. He tore his eyes away.

Jay resolved to plead that Sirius leave him be. And he knew that if he looked Sirius in the eye, he would not be able to make the break, so instead he stared determinedly at his bed covers.

"I'm sorry for everything. It's not that I don't love you, but you need to understand that I am no good for you. So don't waste any more of your precious time with me," said Jay.

Not looking up, Jay thought Sirius had turned away. He was found that he was mistaken when he felt the shift of blankets, sheets and mattress as weight and warmth settled on his right. Sirius had sat down on the bed next to Jay instead of leaving. Jay felt his heart clench. It hurt to have Sirius willing to be with him despite the pain that he had deliberately caused and would cause in the future. It hurt him to harm the one he loved more than anything in the world.

"You know you are forgiven, Jay," said Sirius softly, reaching out and grabbing Jay's right hand. "I love you. I want to experience my first love to the fullest, even if you have to leave me one day…soon. I'm sure we'll meet again someday."

"I see," said Jay equally softly. He reached out with his left hand and brushed the back of his hand along Sirius's cheek, before cupping his hand under the younger boy's chin. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to the younger boy's forehead. He trailed his lips lower, pecking at the tip of the younger boy's nose. Sirius's eyes fluttered closed.

Jay paused and inhaled. He couldn't do it. He couldn't kiss the younger boy on the lips. His emotions were still in such turmoil. And he knew he was disappointing the younger boy. Still he couldn't do it. It was true that he loved him, but he felt that if he did, he was sealing their fate, that he was committing to something that he knew was impossible.

"I-I can't," said Jay breathing shallowly. "I love you so much, but I-I can't. I can't…kiss you and not feel guilty because I know for a fact that there can't be anything between in the far future."

"Oh Jay," said Sirius, sad, but earnestly, clutching Jay's right hand to his chest, "didn't I say that I wouldn't mind, that I just want to spend this time with you?"

And Sirius ignored the chill that ran down his spine at Jay's words. They wouldn't be together in the future. Why? How did Jay know so surely? And he was afraid.

"You look pale. Are you alright?" asked Jay, using his thumb to caress Sirius's cheek. He flinched when he felt a drop of wetness fall onto his thumb. He couldn't stop the guilt, pain, terror and sadness that gripped him, when asked, "Are you crying?"

There was a cry and Jay had his arms full of a crying boy. The younger boy clung to him tightly, nails digging into his back. Sirius's face was buried into his shirt, and Jay's chin was on the other boy's shoulder.

"I don't want to lose you!"cried Sirius.

Jay held onto Sirius's smaller frame, soothingly running his hands down the younger boy's back. His heart clenched. Again he was hit with self-loathing. He didn't deserve these tears. He wanted desperately to tear himself away from the younger boy and shake him so that he would see reason. He wanted desperately for the younger boy to see how much pain he was and would be in because of Jay. Even more he wanted the pain to go away. He couldn't bear to see the boy cry like that. His vision was blurring. Something wet trickled down his cheek and splashed against his hands.

Oh, Jay thought, he was crying too. He didn't know whose harsh breathing and panting it was, but suddenly it became a little easier to breath. It still hurt, but it was no longer as pressing, almost as if the conflict was resolved. By crying together, they had reached an understanding and release from the pain. It was softer, lighter. It would be easier now to enjoy the remaining time they had together.

"Thank you," said Jay, as Sirius said in the span of the same moment. They looked at each other and blushed. They stayed like that for a few moments and then they burst into laughter.

"Let's get ready," said Jay, holding his hand out for Sirius.

The younger boy grabbed Jay's hand. And the older boy leaned down a little and brought Sirius's fingers to his lips and turned the younger boy's palm over and pressed a kiss there too.

Sirius blushed in response and said, rather brashly, "Well? Let's go already!"

Laughing Jay, pulled the other boy into his arms, and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Sirius smiled shyly, pressing a light kiss to Jay's lips. He watched as Jay's eyes widened and a blush spread across his cheeks. He giggled and bound away, leaving Jay standing as still as a suit of un-enchanted armour.

He was sitting at the Gryffindor table by the time Jay, ran into the room, five minutes late for breakfast and still struggling with his shirt buttons and tie. Luckily, Sirius saved a seat for him. Jay breathed a sigh of relief.

Sirius sat next to Jay during breakfast, lunch and dinner. For the day, he made no attempt to answer love letters that were thrown at him by the owls during breakfast nor did he smile, wink or wave at any good-looking persons. And it soon spread like wildfire that he was no longer single, though everyone looked around to see who had caught his eye. They were severely disappointed, as Sirius did not seem to be affectionate with anyone. Though to the expert eye, it would be quite obvious that Sirius was smitten with Jay and vice versa.

They were always together, sitting and walking next to each. And if you knew as many nooks and crannies as the Marauderers, you would notice that they were always wrapped in each other's arms in private.

Finishing breakfast, they left for class, but Remus and Jay hung back. Remus had motioned for Jay to follow him. And Jay did, knowing that the brown haired boy had something important to say.

"You seem happier," said Remus. "I'm glad. But you don't deserve Sirius. If you ever hurt him again, Jay, you will answer for it."

The malevolent gold gleam in Remus's eyes caused a chill to rise over Jay's skin, but he did not shiver. Instead, he kept eye contact with the werewolf.

"Sirius and I will be together for the rest of my stay. We've already discussed it. I will not hurt him during the time that we have together. And Remus, once I leave, I want you to take care of him for me, alright? I know you love him too."

"I am not your replacement." The anger in Remus's eyes grew as the golden colour of his eyes began to eat away at the brown.

"No, Remus, you aren't. I am asking you to do it as his friend, not his lover, but if he ever does fall for you, then you have my blessings. But for now, please leave us be."

"Fine," snapped Remus. The golden colour of his eyes receded, and his stance less aggressive.

"Thank you, Remi," Jay murmured, not breaking eye contact, to show his seriousness.

"It's alright," said Remus, sighing, "I don't think Siri will forget you. He will only ever love me as a friend and brother."

"If you are sure…But I believe there could be some potential between the two of you, if your fans are correct," said Jay smirking.

"Why are you teasing me with this information? Can't you see that it hurts enough that you have him?" snapped Remus, gold seeping once again into his eyes.

"Yes, but I want you to know that once I leave, you would have a chance to confess to him. I want you to take it," said Jay, still keeping eye contact. "I don't want you to have regrets because if it weren't for you, Sirius and I would still be hurting right now."

"Are you making fun of me? Can't you see that possibility is gone now that you have come! I've already thought of it. I might have been able to confess to him if you never came here, but I've already lost my chance because I valued my friendship and was too much of a coward to tell him the truth," snarled Remus, advancing upon Jay.

"I see, so you are giving up?" snapped Jay. "My father used to tell me stories about how brave you were."

"Yes," snapped Remus.

With a look of disgust he hissed, "I'm disappointed." He glared, "You are nothing like the man I heard about, the one who saved my father's life many times and fought for peace in the 2nd war against Voldemort."

"You said his name," gasped Remus, gold fading from his eyes, when awe and fear took over.

"Yeah so?" said Jay flippantly.

"You heard of me, but did you ever see me?" asked Remus, voice trembling.

"No comment. You know I can't give away the future," snapped Jay. "Think about what I told you."

Jay stalked away, robes billowing behind him. Remus stared after him. Maybe he would take Jay up on his advice. After all, Jay loved Sirius and hoped for him to be happy and loved.


End file.
